


The Texture Surprise

by clovvnfvcker



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Bottom!Reader, Discussion of safewords, Drunk Reader, Drunk Sex, Light Bondage, Oral Sex, Other, Penetrative Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn, Rough Sex, Smut, but he gets consent and sets clear sexual boundaries, communicative kinky sex, dirty talking, gender neutral reader, hisoka may be a murderer, top!hisoka
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-30
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:27:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24993850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clovvnfvcker/pseuds/clovvnfvcker
Summary: After a long and terrible week, all you wanted was a night of getting drunk and ignoring your problems. What you got instead was a sexy bartender.
Relationships: Hisoka (Hunter x Hunter)/Reader
Comments: 15
Kudos: 369





	1. Chapter 1

Tonight was the final goddamned straw that broke the camel’s back.

You had had a hellish week at work, from getting your ass chewed out by your boss for missing your deadline to spilling coffee on your last good pair of khakis, staining them beyond redemption, you couldn’t catch a break. Things hadn’t been much better at your apartment, either, given that your plumbing had backed up twice and you had to chase down the building manager to get it fixed and someone had stolen your Nozama package from your doorstep yesterday afternoon.

You were completely, unequivocally done with your life.

You dragged your mopey, wallowing self to the bar for a little stress relief, parking yourself on the stool at the far end by the back. At least here, in the low light of a crowded, higher-class establishment, no one would judge you for looking like hell as long as you dressed okay. _The Texture Surprise_ was the kind of joint where you could be left alone if you wanted, drink like a fish until sunrise, and the music was loud enough to drown out any thoughts. You pulled your card from your wallet and set it on the countertop as you scrolled through your phone. The snap of the plastic hitting the sealed hardwood sounded harsh even to your own ears over the deep thumping of the bass through the sound system.

Your glowing screen wouldn’t comment on how much of a trainwreck you were today.

“What can I get for you, Doll~?” The bartender asked, his voice low and smooth. Your eyes snapped up, then stopped.

When had your usual dive gotten such an _attractive_ employee?

His uniform was crisp and recently pressed, the ends of his fine silken button-up tucked neatly into the black slacks, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, exposing his muscular forearms and accentuating his biceps; his maroon tie vanishing into the top of his devilish satin vest, nary a wrinkle as he leaned over the counter at you. The spade and heart, a matched pair, lay smooth across the swell of his chest, a mockery of the carefully painted star and teardrop on his cheeks.

Damn, you were staring.

“A - uh - a seven and seven, with a lemon drop shot,” you managed to stutter out.

“Anything for you,” he smiled, a teasing facsimile of customer service courtesy, before turning on his heel and marching his oh so tight and _round_ rear down the length of the bar again for your glasses.

Well, maybe this week wasn’t all bad…

____

Three hours, five drinks, and four shots later, you were well and truly plastered and loving every minute of it. Your top half swayed with the sultry music playing across the dance floor as you toyed with your empty glass, eyeing that bartender again.

Somewhere over the course of the night, he had cottoned on to the fact that you thought he was hot. At least, you assume he did, since he now seemed to be putting on a show with his service. He gracefully sailed up and down the counters, filling drinks as fast as people could ask for them, the old glasses vanishing as if by magic. When he came back your way with his carrot-colored hair falling into his face and his immaculately-manicured red claws inching ever closer to the hand holding your empty glasses, you swore he was gauging how much you enjoyed his performance.

You were enjoying it a lot, truth be told.

“And what’ll it be this time, Love~?” he crooned.

“Vodka and BedRull,” you flirted back, leaning your weight onto the bar.

“My pleasure,” And he was off again, much like a ghost or a magician, always one step ahead of your drunk and horny brain. He returned a moment later, garnishing your drink with a maraschino cherry with a flourish.

You’d barely taken your first step when he spoke again.

“My, you’re certainly drinking yourself silly tonight,” he languidly draped himself across the bar, his golden eyes boring into yours. If you didn’t feel the too-tight caress of your clothes against your skin, you could’ve sworn he’d just laid you naked in front of the whole room with only his gaze, “Come on, tell me, what’s on your mind, Darling~?”

“Oh, nothing exciting in particular,” you took another sip, the heat rising up your neck and cheeks.

“Don’t be like that,” he pouted, though it was painfully dishonest, “I’ve heard all sorts of stories tonight. Break-ups, unrequited love, birthdays and bachelorette parties, I’m sure you’ve got a reason.”

“You know, just the usual. Work sucks, my apartment sucks, I haven’t been laid in ages,” you waved noncommittally. Sober you would later have the capacity to be embarrassed for admitting it to a perfect (and you did mean _perfect_ ) stranger, but your alcohol-addled mind couldn’t bring itself to care. Still, his eyes widened a fraction, then grew lidded as he appraised you, his gaze drifting down, down, _down._

“Well, you know, I can’t fix all your problems,” he licked his lips smoothly, as if he was imagining getting a taste of you, “but I can certainly help with that last one~”

“Is that a threat or a promise?” the two of you seemed to be leaning in further and further, his exquisite form perfectly at home in all the pomp and circumstance of the room. His eyes flashed with what you would later recognize as his predatory nature as one sharp claw slowly, oh so slowly, dragged across your cheek and down your neck.

“It can be whatever you want it to be,” his voice lowered, husky and dangerous. “Do you use safewords?”

“Yes,” you nodded, “red is stop, yellow is change, green is good.”

“Look at you,” your noses were almost touching now, his gaze piercing you through his impossibly thick, dark lashes, “how good you are. Would you like to leave?”

“Don’t you have a shift to finish?” He chuckled and leaned back, snatching your card from the register behind him.

“Trust me, that won’t be an issue,” he cashed you out, barely waiting for you to finish your signature and get situated before his arm hooked around your waist and guided you out of the bar. His form was even more solid without a bartop between you, warm and confident and oh, _so_ tempting.

The chilly night air wasn’t even enough to break you of your stupor, leaning against this god walking among men promising to take you into whatever wolves den he wanted. You were a puppet on his string.

“Can you promise to be quiet~?”

“Yes,” your heart was fluttering, a molten warmth growing between your legs.

“My good pet,” he tapped the very tip of your nose, “I’m getting us a cab, and if you behave, maybe I’ll give you a little reward on the other end~”

The cab rolled up only seconds later. The bartender opened the door and ushered you inside first, holding the door wide like your own personal loyal servant, before sliding in effortlessly beside you. You couldn’t imagine why he asked you to be quiet, you thought as the wheels started rumbling, this was only a cab ride to his place. He muttered something too low to hear, and suddenly your wrists were stuck to your thighs.

You watched in shaky silence as his long, deceptively delicate-looking fingers slid across your thigh, up further and further. A small whimper escaped your throat, but his other hand came to rest a finger on your lips.

“You promised to be good,” he reminded, his voice barely audible. You nodded.

The pads of his fingers met the seam of your pants, playing gently across your aching crotch and burning thighs. His hands were nimble and silent as he worked to rub against the most delicate parts of your anatomy without rustling the fabric. His hands were so good, the kind that had undone countless lovers and broken endless hearts, as he pressed and fluttered each digit over your body again and again.

The car hit a pothole and your breath hitched, his exploring hand hitting you deliciously, and only served his purposes further as the finger on your lips slipped between them and onto your tongue. You took it in gratefully, relieved to have something to focus on other than your painfully aroused genitalia, and sucked it deeply. You trailed your tongue across his tip and down the length, taking note of the calluses you couldn’t feel through your clothing, before trailing your teeth across the knuckles as he pulled out.

“We’re almost there,” he whispered, “Just hang on a little longer, Darling, and you can have me~”

Sure enough, the car rolled to a stop. You practically dove out of the car, but the bartender took his sweet time paying off the cabby. It occurred to you that you didn’t even know his name, or where you were for that matter, but when his door opened and his gaze slid over to you, you forgot your brief moment of concern.

“Come.” You were by his side in an instant, your stumbling steps and his confident ones the only sounds as you ascended the stairs to his place. He kept you in front, safely caged in by his toned, firm arms, as you climbed, though his wandering hand rubbed you through your pants once or twice more. His teasing game was going to kill you, and he hadn’t even touched your flesh yet.

Suddenly, your back was against a door, his body pressed firmly against yours. You heard the keys against the lock, but the only thing running through your mind was his hard thigh rocking against the space between your legs. You moaned softly.

“Color, Darling?”

“Green - ah, mmm, green.”

“Good~” He tilted your chin up and kissed you. His lips were impossibly soft as he ghosted them from one side of your mouth to the other, his tongue sliding out to tease at your lower lip, the promise of more to come, before it darted away again. He let his lips trail across the curve of your cheek and drift up to your ear, nibbling on your lobe for a bit as his thigh grinded against you over and over.

You moaned.

“You’re so mean to me, Sir - ah - are you really g-goi-ah-ing to make me cum out here?” He stopped, then his heat was gone. He stood in the overhead light of the hallway for a moment, as if considering your words carefully, before lowering his eyes back to yours.

“Pet, who gives the orders here?” He was serious.

“You, Sir.”

“So then why are you telling me what to do?” You felt the rising panic as he placed his form against yours again. “I suppose I can let this little transgression go, since you were so good on the way here, but that’s your one for tonight, okay~?” Then the door gave way from behind you.

You knew that, logically, you should’ve fallen, but a pulling sensation against your chest seemed to keep you upright. You didn’t bother to ask as the bartender continued his onslaught, backing you further and further into the apartment that you couldn’t see, his hands squeezing and tugging and kneading your skin through your clothes as he guided you into his room, where he tossed you to the bed.

There was enough light streaming in through the blinds to see him kneeling on the edge of the bed above you, his knees sunk into the mattress as you lay before him.

“Color?”

“Green.”

“Excellent~” and he was on you again, pulling your shirt up over your head.

His lips left searing kisses along each inch he exposed, threatening to devour you down to your very core. His mouth found one of your pert nipples, his tongue flicking across it deliciously, before he sucked, gently running his teeth along the edges of it. He pinched and pulled the other neglected nipple while his free hand slid down to unbutton the pants separating you from your promised release. Instead of pulling them down, given he was currently busy, he snaked his hand under your waist band, under your underwear, and touched you without a barrier for the first time.

His fingers were even more magical without the layers of cloth. They were cool and practiced against your feverish sex, the wicked tease, working you over so well that your thighs quivered. His mouth had switched to your other nipple at some point, marking your chest with a matching second round of hickies on the other side.

“S-Sir! Ah!”

“You like when I mark you, my little pet~?” His voice was deep and husky to your ears, “Do you like wearing my brands~?” You nodded as his fingers pulled another moan from your throat. “Color?”

“G - ah, oh fuck, - green, Sir.”

He smirked and pulled away, dragging your pants and underpants off in one fell swoop. When had he gotten your shoes off? You didn’t care, you couldn’t remember through the fog of your lust. You were laid bare in front of him and you could almost feel his eyes as he looked you over, studying you in preparation for whatever debauched inclination he had in mind, and you quivered.

After a moment or two, his concentrated stare was broken. You leaned up and forward, loosening his tie with one hand and unbuttoning his vest with the other. He brushed some loose strands of hair out of his face and smirked, quite pleased with this development.

“Antsy, are we~?”

“Are you going to spend all night teasing me or are you going to put me in my place?” The challenge in your voice made his eyes go wild before you were back on your back, his sheets rumpling under your fingers as you dug into the mattress.

He lifted your thighs effortlessly over his shoulders, his face buried between them as he took you into his mouth. His tongue alternated between lapping and giving teasing prods, his breath hot against you as he devoured you. You ran a hand into his soft hair, taking a handful near his scalp and pulling him deeper into your desperate arousal. You ground yourself against his mouth, making him chuckle, but he eagerly met you each time you rocked into him. His nails dug into the meat of your legs as he spread them wider, opening you more so he could reach even further on your body. You could feel the tip of his nose buried in your trimmed patch of hair, his teeth ever so slightly tracing against your sensitive skin as you fucked his mouth - or his mouth fucked you, you couldn’t be sure which was more appropriate as he spurred you toward release.

“Sir! Sir, I’m getting close!” You managed to get out, your hips taking on a mind of their own as you found yourself careening closer and closer to orgasm, if only he would give you just a bit more -

Then, his mouth was gone, his hands pressing your hips harshly into the bed to keep you from seeking that last little bit of delicious friction.

Your whine was absolutely petulant and depraved.

“Sir! What’s wrong, I was so close, I was right there-”

“Hush,” he quieted you with a feverish kiss, “I promised you a reward, didn’t I? Besides, I’m not ready for you to be done yet~”

The joy in his honey eyes would be the death of you.

Still, he brought you back from the edge gently, running hot licks across your nipples before blowing cool air across them, his hands teasing your inner thighs just out of reach of your sensitive anatomy. Once your breathing had more or less returned to normal, he stood, undoing his belt and unzipping his slacks.

“Normally, now would be time for you to return the favor, but I’m feeling generous tonight. Are you ready for the main event, my dear pet~?”

You nodded, feeling your sex begin to ache again. In the low light, he released his cock from the confines of his pants without even hardly sliding them down his slender hips.

He was absolutely _blessed._ He pulled a bottle of lube out of his nightstand table, generously coating the length and head of his incredible penis. He didn’t seem shy in the least, not minding that he was exposing himself to you a few scant feet from your face. If you wanted to, you could have reached out and stroked him.

You did.

He seemed to weigh your silent request before deciding to allow it, and you stroked him gently. He was firm, solid, and warm. You imagined he would be, given his body felt that way as well, but you could never have imagined such a perfect, glorious cock hiding under those exquisite trousers.

“Do you like what you see, pet~?”

“Yes, Sir. You’re perfect. Absolutely perfect,” you breathed as you caressed him. His dry hand ran through your hair, his thumb tracing your cheek lovingly.

“I wouldn’t say that,” he chuckled, “but if you so insist. Tell me, what would you like me to do to you?”

“Whatever you want, Sir.”

“Don’t be so coy, I want to hear your words. What does my sweet little pet want me to do~?”

You knew you were on a precipice you couldn’t come back from. If his performance with his mouth was anything to go by, he was delectable, experienced, the kind of man that would come blazing like a fire into your life and leave you behind to pick up the charred remains. He would completely undo you, make you nothing but a slave to his whims, a toy at his mercy, and he would take his fill and throw you away when he was done. He was a demigod, bathed in unsung promises and beautiful falsehoods.

You didn’t care.

“I want you to fuck me, Sir,” you glanced up through your lashes, “I want you to pound me with your huge, incredible cock, if you would be so kind. Please.”

His grin sent chills down your spine, but somehow that only made the whole thing hotter. He was on you again, the fabric of his clothing dragging across your flushed skin as he positioned himself between your legs. He held your wrists to the headboard, whispering once more, and you were stuck, spread, bound, and vulnerable. He ground his cock against you, making you slick with lube, his fingernails digging into your hips.

“That’s my good pet,” his voice was low, but even, the only indication he was even affected by the fireworks shooting up your core, “always so obedient. Maybe I’ll keep you. You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Being mine? Taking me like this whenever I wanted?”

You moaned and he shifted you again, positioning the head at your entrance. He spilled more lube over you for good measure, and you wondered if he could really fuck hard enough for that much lube to be necessary, but you were soon corrected. He entered you in one fluid motion, bringing you down his impossible length to meet him at the hilt.

You had never been so full in your life.

He gave you no time to adjust as he slid out, then drove himself back in. The bed creaked with the force of his thrusts, each inward stroke hitting you deep and filling you to the brim, each outward movement a palpable loss, and the pace he set was downright greuling. He pounded into you hard, his hands pulling you against his hips with each thrust. He leaned into you, his face almost touching yours, and he kissed you.

His lips were rough now, his teeth pulling at your bottom lip, his tongue diving into your mouth with an enthusiasm you tried to meet in your restrained state. His cock still driving into you over and over, molding you to fit him as perfectly as you could. He felt like heaven. You could do this forever, you thought, you could spend your life taking his perfect cock, letting him cum from you over and over, and be happy.

“Tell me,” he grunted as he fucked you ruthlessly, “tell me how it feels.”

“S-Sir!” Your wanton moans filled the room, “You feel - ah - f-feel so good! So f-fucking good, Sir! I w - ah, oh - want to fuck you for - mmm - forever!” He moaned in your ear, an obscenely filthy sound, dripping with lust.

“That’s it, pet,” his thrusts punctuated each word, plowing you, his tie dangling in your face, “you’re such a good pet, too - mmf - so tight and needy~”

His teasing only made you burn, your core aching with your unspent release. He shifted again and oh fuck -

“There, pet?” He gave you another experimental stroke and you almost screamed. Then his weight was on you, somehow managing to fuck you even faster, hit you even deeper, as he continued to hit that precious spot over and over. “That’s where you - ah - like it?”

You didn’t have the presence of mind to respond. Instead, you wrapped your legs tightly around his waist and tried to keep up with his relentless pounding, rolling your hips against him for just a little more friction. One of his hands snaked between you and tightly, harshly, deliciously rubbed against you, supplying you with all you needed.

“Sir! Sir! I’m so close! Please let me cum!” You begged. His teeth met your throat, sucking a dark hickey into your neck, his hand still teasing you, his cock sending electricity through you like lightning.

“Cum for me, pet, cum for me,” and you careened over the cliff, your hips rocking with a mind of their own, your sex fluttering harshly. Your hands came loose from the headboard and you clung to him, digging your nails into his back roughly enough to draw blood, and you screamed.

Still, he did not stop.

“In or out, pet?” Your hazy mind could barely keep up. “In or out?”

“In.”

That was all the confirmation he needed. He thrusted into you only a few more times before his hips slowed, sputtered, and stopped. Your body continued to flutter around him, the two of you breathing labored breaths, but outside of that, the room was still and quiet.

He reached for the nightstand again and pulled a tissue from the drawer, holding it against you as he exited you. You felt incredibly empty without him, even though you could feel his dribbling cum near your entrance.

That bastard hadn’t even taken his clothes off.

Still, he helped you up and carefully guided you to the bathroom in silence, helped you situate yourself in the shower, and turned on the hot water.

____

The rest of the night was gone in a blur. You remembered nothing of it the next morning, only how good your one night stand had been, when you awoke in your own bed. You panicked a moment, thinking it was all a dream, but the hickies on your chest and neck and the ache between your legs was enough to tell you it wasn’t.

You sat up and scooched out of your covers, ignoring the pounding in your head. Fuck, it had to be almost noon with the way the sun was streaming in through the windows. How did you get home? And in your pajamas, no less?

Fuck, you never even got his name.

You sighed. Well, at least it was nice while it lasted. Still, you would’ve liked to have seen him one more time. You plodded out to your kitchen in a huff. What a quiet Sunday morning. You resolved to make yourself a pot of coffee and maybe watch a movie while you shopped online for a new pair of slacks. Surely Boss wouldn’t be too mad if you wore one of your bad pairs as long as you tried to hide it -

You stopped and backed up a pace. There, at your kitchen table, sat a bottle of water, a couple of small pills you recognized as being from your Lytenol stash, your clothes from the night before, neatly folded, and a note. You sat down in your chair. He’d even tucked your wallet and phone into your folded laundry. How thoughtful. You picked up the paper. His handwriting was scrawled, but still somewhat neat and whimsical.

_“Dearest Pet,_

_I had some prior engagements to attend to, so I brought you home. You were probably too drunk to remember. Thanks for the night of fun._

_-Hisoka_

_P.S. My number is XXX-XXX-XX44. Call me if you’re feeling blue and I’ll come fix it again._

_P.S.S. Maybe we can do it in my bar next time. ;)”_

God fucking damn it, of course you slept with the owner of your favorite god damned bar.


	2. Chapter 2

You had been dreaming of him for weeks. Almost every night, as soon as you drifted off, his eyes were there, drowning you in their liquid gold gaze as he slammed his massive cock into you over and over. You were always alone when you woke, left with nothing but the muscle memory of his body on yours and his little note on your nightstand.

This was getting ridiculous.

Every spare moment you had, your mind drifted back to that night. You caught yourself wondering over and over if he was thinking of you, too, or if he had already moved on to his next conquest, but you couldn’t bring yourself to plug his number into your phone and actually check. You preferred to live with not knowing than find out he barely remembered you. Even still, you had already turned down one of your coworker’s offers for a date. On some level, you knew he would never measure up to Hisoka, and you weren’t ready to give up the fantasy of seeing him again just yet.

You were knocked out of your internal monologue when your desk phone rang. You were in the office today and you should’ve been working on your project, but truth be told, you had been having a difficult time focusing. Most days, you could push Hisoka out of your mind long enough to get some good progress done, but today was dragging by like sludge. You picked up the phone.

“Hello, thank you for calling the offices of Chase and Rose, how may I help you?”

“Hey stranger!” Your best friend’s voice drifted through the receiver, “How are you doing today?”

“Morgan, you know this is my work phone, right?”

“Of course,” she whined, “but you haven’t been answering my texts and I was getting worried. I’ve missed you. We all have.”

You sighed. “I’m sorry, Morgan, I’ve just had a lot on my plate lately. I keep meaning to get back to you later and ‘later’ never seems to show up.”

“That’s alright! You can make it up to me tonight,” she was cheerful, almost too cheerful.

“How?”

“Oh, don’t sound so suspicious, you know my birthday is coming up. I want to go out tonight, you, me, the gang. It’ll be fun! Please~?” Oh shoot, you’d forgotten your own best friend’s birthday. You mouthed a silent apology to the ceiling and sighed again.

“Alright, I suppose I need to get out of the house anyway. I’ll drop by around eight and we’ll all carpool?” You had to pull the receiver away from your face as she squealed in delight.

“Wonderful! I can’t wait to see you again. Wear something pretty, okay?” The phone clicked, leaving you with only the dial tone for company.

You had no idea what you had just gotten yourself into.

____

That was how you had ended up back at _The Texture Surprise._

It was actually the third bar on your crawl with your friends, all of you already pleasantly buzzed and stumbling into each other. It had been Morgan’s suggestion, and you couldn’t very well turn her down. She would want to know why you didn’t want to hit up your favorite bar and you really didn’t feel like explaining to her that you had met and gone home with the owner the last time you were here, and that he had given you the ride of your life before disappearing into the night. A phantom.

Your little collection of five filtered past the bouncer, flashing your IDs like you weren’t walking to your execution. Maybe that was overdramatic, you thought, there was no guarantee he’d even be working tonight, and even if he was, there was no way he’d notice you if you weren’t sitting at the bar.

Still, when you and your friends slid up to the counter for your first round of orders, there he was. Tonight, his hair was a vibrant magenta, his star and teardrop painted different pastel shades on his cheeks. He had traded his pressed white shirt for a red one, so dark it almost looked black out of the light, though his black slacks and vest were the same as last time. He was wearing a black tie this time, along with a silvery pair of dangling heart earrings.

Your heart stopped when his gaze turned your way. Still, if he recognized you, he didn’t show it. He strutted his way over to your little gaggle of pals and leaned over the bar, resting his head in one hand on top of it.

“What can I get for you lovely people~?” Your friends didn’t seem to notice your anxiety as they ordered, passing over their cards for their tabs, just as entranced with him as you had been that night.

That night when he had pressed you against his door and teased you with his leg, when he’d eaten you like he intended to devour you completely, when he’d fucked you into a stupor -

Fuck. You were staring. Again.

“I’ll have a rum and cola, and a blowjob shot,” No, you would not stutter. If he wanted to play strangers, you would play strangers. You were here for Morgan, not to get laid by the man that took up every last free moment in your thoughts.

“Your wish is my command, Love~” he turned and his attention was gone.

As soon as he handed your group your tray of drinks, you all wandered over to a table and settled in. You were still within eyeshot of the bar, but you did everything in your power not to turn and look at the clown.

“Alright, spill,” Morgan’s gaze pinned you to your seat. Your other friends all leaned in intently, keeping their eyes on you.

“Spill what?”

“You and the bartender. What happened? You looked like you were going to pass out. Or climb him like a tree,” your friend had always been perceptive, but ouch.

“Morgan, I have no idea what you’re talking about,” you downed your shot unceremoniously, hoping to change the subject, but she pulled your other drink out of your reach.

“No more until you give me the deets. I know you, you wouldn’t pay him a second thought if you hadn’t seen him before,” you groaned.

“Fine, but give me back my liquor,” when she slid the glass toward you, you took a swig to center yourself, “I was here a few weeks ago, after that one project kicked my ass and my landlord was being a dick. And maybe I kind of sort of went home with him and he’s the best lay I’ve ever had.”

“And you haven’t talked to him since!?”

“He gave me his number, but I haven’t worked up the courage to call him, okay? Stop looking at me like that, I know I’m a coward!” Morgan looked like she was going to skin you before a wicked, conniving grin spread across her lips, “What are you planning?”

“Oh, nothing~” her sing-song innocence was a bold-faced lie, but you didn’t press. You simply slammed back the rest of your drink, “let me get you a refill. Same thing?”

“Same thing.”

____

Whatever Morgan was going for, it seemed the moment had passed an hour later. You and your friends loudly laughed at a series of dumb jokes none of you would remember in the morning, lost in the sea of flowing booze and giddy feelings. You had all but forgotten Hisoka at the bar now that you were well and truly rolling. Fuck it, you thought, you’re young and sexy and having a great time. Nothing could bring you down from this.

“Come on!”

Morgan pulled you by the hands out onto the dance floor, both of you tripping over your own feet on the way there. Still, you remained upright, and her energy was infectious. The two of you danced together, the thrum of the bass vibrating your rib cage, your hips swaying to the beat. She always knew how to be the life of the party. Every time an interested party slid your way, she’d pull you close, both of you sliding your hands over each other as you shook your asses. Really, it was mostly to keep random dudes from grinding on either one of you when you weren’t interested, but it was still fun.

A few songs passed by like this, bringing you drunken euphoria amongst the crowd of gyrating hips. You felt so alive.

Then, Morgan winked at you and vanished into the crowd.

A hand slid over your hip, soft but sure, as though it had been there before.

“My naughty pet, first you fail to text me, then you show up at my bar and spend your night teasing me~?” That voice like molten honey was one you would never forget, but you still spun around in surprise. You hadn’t expected him to come find you on the dance floor.

“H-Hisoka!”

“The one and only~” he guided you with his hands, making you sway against him “I’m hurt. I thought my performance was good enough for you to at least call me sometime. I was so looking forward to making you moan again~”

He didn’t look the least bit hurt. If anything, he looked bemused (and like sex on legs, but that was beside the point).

“So tell me, Pet, did you miss me at all?”

“Of course I did,” you breathed, “I’ve dreamt of you almost every night. Every spare thought eventually circles back to you.”

“I do believe I left you my phone number~”

“You did.”

“Then why haven’t I heard from you~?”

“I was afraid,” he seemed surprised, so you elaborated, “I thought there’s no way a guy like you hadn’t already moved on. I was afraid I would text you and you would’ve already forgotten me, so I just...never did. I’m sorry, Sir.”

“Apology accepted, Pet!” He tapped your nose and smiled. It was almost childishly cheerful, though there was certainly still a dangerous edge to it.

Too bad the crinkle at the corners of his eyes was so cute that you didn’t register the truth: he was still a wolf circling his sheep, now separated from the rest of their herd.

“Although,” he continued, “I think you need to make it up to me...and I know just the place.”

He slipped his fingers between yours, holding your hand gently as he led you through the crowd of sweaty bodies, throwing sultry glances back at you every so often. He guided you up the stairs behind the employees only section and down a dark hallway lined with doors.

“I’m terribly sorry, Darling, but we’re packed tonight and one of my bartenders is sick, so I can’t just take off like last time. I promise you’ll still enjoy yourself, though~” he teased as he pinned you to the wall before his lips descended on yours.

His kisses were rough and hungry, a kind of desperation that wasn’t present the last time you had seen him. He had been so calm and in control of the situation then. He pressed his tongue into your mouth and you met him, savoring the taste of the mouth you had dreamt of for so long as your tongues danced across each other’s. He tasted like bourbon and daydreams.

You snaked your fingers into his hair near his scalp and tugged, his hair so incredibly soft in your hands. You could feel his growl of pleasure reverberating in his throat and he groped at your ass, cupping each of your cheeks and pulling your hips against his.

He was already so hard. You felt the familiar warmth growing in your groin, an electric shock pulsing against your sex that promised, if only you could feel him again, you could have the release you so desperately craved. You wrapped your legs around his waist and he lifted you easily, your body pressed hard between him and the wall behind you. You rocked against him as you kissed, teasing him through the layers of cloth separating both of you.

He broke the kiss, his head falling into the crook of your neck, and moaned against your throat.

“Oh, Pet, how I’ve missed you~” he breathed between the kisses and nibbles he placed along your pulse, “my needy little slut, always so good for me~”

He ground himself against you with force, making you gasp. God, every single time you thought you had the upper hand, that you might actually be able to break his composure, he’d flip it back on you and make you a wanton mess.

Still, you met his thrusts, the both of you breathing hard as he tugged at your shirt and unbuttoned your pants, exposing your upper half to him. His teeth grazed your nipple as he ground against you, pinching the other as he sucked hickies to the surface of your skin. You loosened his tie until it pulled free of his neck, giving you the room to unbutton his shirt down to his vest.

In the low light of the hallway, you could see that he was built like a god, all wiry muscle and smooth, freckled skin. He broke from you to undo his vest and allowed you to finish freeing his chest from his shirt. He was stunning, absolutely stunning.

Your mouth was on his collarbone before you could stop yourself as you ran kisses and bites over his firm pecs, your fingers tracing over his abs to find the devilish little trail of hair that led from his navel down into the cloth of his slacks.

Fuck, you wanted to see all of him. You wanted to taste him, mark him in return as yours. He didn’t seem to mind, rocking harder against you each time you bit into him.

“Don’t be afraid, Pet, I’m not fragile~”

That was all the confirmation you needed. You sunk your teeth into his shoulder and felt his flesh give way to blood, but more than that, you heard the positively filthy moan he let out as his restrained cock twitched against you.

“That’s it, that’s my good little slut-”

You heard the crash of a dish breaking off in the distance, and both of you stilled.

He looked at you with those wicked golden eyes and chuckled.

“As much as I like the idea of taking you right here, perhaps we should take this someplace a little more private, no~?” He carefully let you down and steadied you on your feet before turning and briskly walking further down the hallway. You scrambled to keep up with him, not even bothering to fix your rumpled clothes.

He opened the door at the end and held it open for you before following you in, engaging the lock behind you. You glanced around the room and came to the conclusion that this had to be his private office. There was a large wooden desk, a nice leather chair, some filing cabinets, papers, trinkets - you didn’t really care when you felt him slide up behind you.

“I thought we were about to fuck, Pet, or did you forget what we were doing~?” his hands pushed you by the hips, guiding you to the desk before pushing you down over it. “Have I ever told you how wonderful your ass is? Watching you shake it all night out on my dance floor like a tease~”

He strolled casually around the desk, sliding off his shirt and vest in one fluid movement before undoing his belt. He knelt down in front of your face.

“I really must thank that friend of yours,” he rubbed your shoulders as he talked, “Maybe if I had given her my number instead, I would’ve seen you sooner. Color?”

“Green.”

He stood and let his pants fall to the floor, sliding his underwear down over his thighs with them in a single fluid motion, leaving him bare before you. He was even more gorgeous nude, made of hard lines and luscious curves that you were surprised could even exist on the same person. His sultry Adonis belt drew your eyes down, down to the firm length of his cock, framed by a neatly trimmed crown of hair that, to your surprise, definitely matched the drapes.

Did this extra son of a bitch dye his pubes to match his hair?

You didn’t get the chance to ask, as he wrapped your hand around the shaft and inched closer to your face.

“Color?”

“Green.”

“Good~” with his hand still holding yours, he guided the head of his cock to your lips and you took him in without hesitation. You brought your other hand up to cup his balls, which were warm and pleasantly heavy in your palms, as you slowly let him guide your head down his length to your limit.

You rocked your head back and forth as best you could from this angle. It was pleasant, feeling his nails massaging your scalp as you pleasured him with your lips and tongue, letting your teeth graze him gently here and there. He was such a mouthful that you had to strain your jaw to take him, but you didn’t mind as long as you got to hear him breathe those sweet, gentle sighs.

Then, he gave you a testing thrust in just a bit deeper on your next downward stroke.

“I’m going to fuck that cute little mouth of yours, okay? Tap my thighs if you need a break~” and he was off, the head of his cock hitting you deep in your throat. You kept a hand on the base of his shaft to limit the depth of his thrusts as he pleasured himself with you, but even that could only do so much for a man as endowed as he was. You wanted him to pound you like this, to feel him stretch you and fuck you until your brain turned to mush and you forgot where you ended and where he began.

Unfortunately, these thoughts were short-lived as you started to choke. You double tapped his thigh with your free hand and he released you without a complaint, letting you cough and regain control over your breathing.

“Too much, Darling~? It’s alright, we can always work up to that another time. I’d rather fuck you, anyway~” he took both of your hands in his before saying “Bungee Gum,” and then your wrists were shackled together and, presumably, attached to the ceiling with a flick of his wrist.

“You have to show me how you do that sometime. It’s fascinating,” he chuckled and tapped your nose.

“Maybe later, my curious pet. A magician never reveals his secrets~” he wandered around behind you again, unceremoniously pulling your pants and undergarments down your legs, “Lingerie, Dear~? And in red, no less? Oh my, you really were hoping to tempt me, weren’t you, you little minx~?”

You felt his lips on your ass, his hands spreading your thighs apart, before his teeth sunk into you and he _sucked,_ leaving his mark exactly where you would sit on it and feel it for a week. His fingers and tongue took turns teasing your entrance, dipping into you only to retreat as soon as you felt good. Still, he wasn’t completely torturous, running his lips over the engorged, sensitive parts of your sex.

You knew better than to think he would let you cum this way. Not after he brought you to the brink only to leave you hanging last time.

“Color?”

“Gre- mmm, Sir, god, green,” you moaned once he sunk a finger into you, followed quickly by a second as his tongue teased you, pumping in and out with a kind of fluid casualty that didn’t fit the fire burning in your core.

“My good pet, do you want me to fuck you? Would you like me to bury my cock inside you?”

“Please,” you huffed, feeling your legs shake at the idea. You were sick, getting so painfully aroused from nothing but some heavy petting from this horrific tease.

“Please what~?”

“Are you really going to make me say it?” He stopped completely and leaned his cheek against your thighs.

“Yes. Good pets use their words, you know.”

“You’re so mean to me,” you whined, but your arousal won out over your pride, “I want you to fuck me so hard I can’t walk. I want you to fill me to the brim again. Please, Sir, please fuck me.”

You didn’t have to look to know that wicked, terrible grin raked over his features. You’d say you wanted to die of embarrassment, but something told you he’d be all too happy to hear that and tease you even more.

You felt him line himself up with your entrance, teasing you, pushing ever so slightly in before pulling back out.

“I don’t have any lube here, so I have to start gently, okay~? Let me know when you’re ready for more,” and then he pressed into you, inch by excruciating inch spreading you wide over him. He occasionally withdrew a fraction before pushing in again, giving you all the time in the world to adjust to his incredible girth, his wonderful length, until he was buried to the hilt inside you.

Then, he moved, oh so slowly and sweetly. You felt his chest press against your back, his mouth lavishing on the backside of your shoulder to distract you from the burning stretch of him inside you. Fuck, this was so much easier with lube. Still, his gentle thrusts started to move inside you more easily, and you felt the warm spread of pleasure through your core.

“You’re relaxing, Love~” he whispered into your ear, giving it a tender kiss and a nibble, “Are you ready?”

“Yes, Sir.”

He kicked the pace up a notch, then up again, and again and again as you relaxed enough to take him without struggle until he was well and truly pounding you at the brutal pace he preferred, his hips slamming harshly into your ass, his grip on your hips almost guaranteed to leave bruises in the shapes of his fingertips framed by the tiny punctures left by his immaculate claws.

“F-Fuck, Hisok-ah! So good, you’re so good,” you moaned, letting your head rest against the wood. Your hands sought purchase at the edge of the desk, holding it to the point that your hands hurt as you tried to ride out his vicious onslaught. Your legs quivered and collapsed, leaving you at his mercy as he ripped moan after moan from your throat.

“Just like that, Pet, scream my name,” his low voice dripped like honey, you wanted nothing more than to indulge each and every request he wanted, even if he asked you to destroy yourself in the process. So, you did.

“Hisoka! Hisoka!” You cried his name like a prayer as he hit the sensitive spot inside you that drove you wild over and over. He was a god, something beyond human with those wolfish gold eyes and his statuesque body and his cock that molded you to fit him perfectly each time he hit the deepest parts of you.

“My good pet,” he grunted in your ear, “I want you to cum for me.”

His hand sneaked under your hip and met your groin, rubbing his long soft fingers against you with a fierce determination. You felt yourself coiling, trapped between his hand and his incredible cock as you rocked to meet him, to find that last little bit of delicious friction that would send you over the edge into his arms, and he pressed harder and oh fuck oh god you couldn’t stop you were going to-

“Cum for me, Pet, cum on my cock~” and you were exploding, a supernova ripped through your body as you came hard on his firm, thick cock, his perfect hands, and your scream reverberated through the room. Your hips rocked harshly with a mind of their own as your core fluttered, riding out the pleasure of your release.

You felt so warm.

“In~?” he asked.

“In.”

He pounded you only a few minutes more, though much less rough than he had been when you came, before he also came with a moan inside you. You felt his warmth spread through you, and you knew he had thoroughly destroyed you. Even if you never saw him again, he would always be what you compared to. This mysterious magician would always be the ghost that escaped your grasp.

He pulled out slowly and held some fabric to your entrance as your hands came free. You twisted to watch him.

The bougie fuck was wiping you clean with his own tie.

“Sorry, Love,” he almost looked sheepish, though you couldn’t be certain that it wasn’t an act for your benefit, “I don’t normally fuck in my office. No tissues.”

“If this becomes a normal thing, you’ll have to get some,” the glint of mischief returned to his eye and he smirked.

“My good pet, I’ll be sure to~”

The two of you redressed in silence, though his outfit looked a bit out-of-place covered in wrinkles and missing his tie, and you vacated the office. He locked the door behind you as you left and walked off back toward the club.

“So, Darling, do you promise to actually call me next time~?” he teased.

“I promise, Hisoka.”

You’d have to thank Morgan yourself later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back by request, I wrote a little follow-up to part 1 for kicks. I really enjoyed writing this half, too! Thank you for all your kind words on part 1, and I sincerely hope you enjoyed this one, too.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This was so much fun to write, thank you for taking the time to read my self-indulgent smut. In the HxH audio CDs, Hisoka canonically owns a bar, among several other fun and interesting jobs, so I wrote this to peek in on what might happen when he's actually around to run the place. Special thanks to @ploppymeep and @acesblitz on twitter for giving me the inspiration for this little one shot.


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